Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Back in Boise 

"We are trying to come up with other ways to say ['you're fired']. For instance, if someone is from Idaho, I could say, 'You're back in Boise for apple-picking time.' " -- Martha Stewart on her upcoming Apprentice show

In the elegant dance of Arizona Republic newspaper sections my wife and I perform every morning at the breakfast table, the Business section (or whatever it's called) is the wallflower, unchosen unless needed to (e.g., the wife is finishing up the "Arizona Living section). Every now and then, however, there's an article that makes my day.

Or maybe just a quotation.

Seriously, isn't that, like, the worst catch-phrase ever?

Perhaps it's got some merit, though. Let's see, for Javier Lopez, designated for assignment on Tuesday (replaced by pitcher-of-the-week Armando Almanza) and born in San Juan, Puerto Rico, perhaps Martha would say, "you're too common for the wealth of the big leagues and barely the 52nd-best player in the organization, let alone 26th -- you're back in San Juan."

Or something like that.

Feel free to vote off your least-favorite Diamondback in faux-Martha-pseudo-Donald style in the comments below.

(And, yes, I'm ignoring Tuesday's 7-1 Diamondbacks loss to the Cardinals. 'Cause this was more fun, anyway.)

So, we could tell Scott Hairston "Out in left field, you're fourth best, so back to Fort Worth."

That was pretty lame. I'll have to try to think of something better to redeem myself.
Like that was somehow worse than mine.
Jose Cruz Jr.: you are the weakest link. Goodbye.

Hey, you didn't say we had to be original. ;-)
The obvious one that came to mind: "Terrero? Terrer-ible!" But that sounds like Scooby-doo is our new GM.
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