Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Angels Name Changes Leads To Six Other Name Changes 

In the wake of the decision by MLB's Anaheim Angels franchise to rename themselves the "Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim," six other major league teams have announced their decision to change their names.

The San Diego Padres, serving one of the smallest markets in major league baseball as ranked by media market size, announced their name change to the Anaheim Padres of San Diego (APSD). According to a press release put out by the team, the name change "will strengthen the Padres' long-term economic health by enhancing the marketability through a metropolitan area that has been abandoned and shafted by the Angels."

The Padres' move is expected to be challenged by the Arizona Diamondbacks, who also claimed for themselves the entire Orange County market, announcing an official name change to the Orange County Diamondbacks of Arizona (OCDA). While some analysts wonder about the viability of naming a team for a metropolitan area in another state, lead investor Ken Kendrick was quoted as saying, "If it works for the New York football Giants and Jets, why won't it work for us? Besides, we hear that Troy Glaus is still popular there on the coast." It is still unclear how APSD and OCDA will negotiate their use of the metropolitan region.

On the opposite coast, the Pittsburgh Pirates announced their decision to become the New York Pirates of Pittsburgh (NYPP), immediately quadrupling their market share from little more than 1 million households by adding a portion of the New York area's 8+ million households. Experienced observers believe this move will make the Pirates the clear favorite for 4th place in both the National League Central and East.

The Florida Marlins and Tampa Bay Devil Rays each made predatory moves toward the others' areas, becoming, respectively, the Tampa Marlins of Florida (TMF) and the Miami Devil Rays of Tampa Bay (MDRTB), a move which is expected to have absolutely no effect on the long-term economic health of either team. Residents of both regions were quoted as saying, "We have a baseball team?"

Finally, the New York Yankees announced their name to the America Yankees of New York (AYNY). The move is widely believed to be an attempt to increase revenues to the Yankees' YES cable network so that the Yankees can actually afford the All-Star starters from both squads by 2006. When asked late Monday night if the move wasn't perhaps a bit presumptuous, George Steinbrenner was quoted as saying, "Neener neener neener."

In a related note, hockey's Anaheim Mighty Ducks also changed their name to the Los Angeles Mighty Ducks of Anaheim. Because everyone has actually forgotten about the NHL, however, nobody cared.

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