Friday, July 23, 2004

The Neck 

D-Back fans have had a lot of neck stretching this year. Allow me to
elaborate (visuals may help here).

1. The sideways "Huh?" stretch: Usually a managerial-related stretch
associated with pulling a D-Back pitcher too early (or, on occasion, leaving
him in too long), asking a D-Back batter to bunt needlessly, or rank
indecision regarding whom to start.
2. The backward "Arrrggghhh" stretch: Commonly occurs when a D-Back pitcher
allows a walk, a D-Back fielder commits an error, or a D-Back batter swings
at the first pitch.
3. The forward "Noooooooo" stretch: Commonly occurs when a D-Back pitcher
gives up a homerun or otherwise dispiriting hit, a D-Back runner makes a
silly running decision, or a D-Back batter hits into a double play with
runners in scoring position. The "Noooooooo" stretch often occurs shortly
after an "Arrrggghhh" stretch, thereby allowing a full range of neck

Yesterday's 10-3 D-Backs loss to the Astros was pretty light on "Huh?" and
"Arrrgggghhh" stretches, but plenty full of "Noooooooooo"'s. Edgar Gonzalez
pitched poorly. As did Dessens (well, he was good for 2 innings). As did
Randolph. 4 HRs off D-Back pitching. And it's always a bad sign when
Hillenbrand and Brent Mayne get more than 70% of your hits.

So now the losing streak is up to 11. At least the Rockies are in town.
The series should be competitive, if not a display of compelling baseball.

In other news, Steve Sparks has been sent to the bullpen, and we don't even
know who's coming up to start Saturday's. Mike Gosling? Casey Daigle? A
panda bear with a bamboo slider? Does it even really freakin' matter?

Now, if you don't mind, I need to go stretch my neck for tonight's game.

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